Switch!
by Trippy Zanbato
Summary: What happens when a strange jutsu forces Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki to exchange bodies? Mass panic, of course!


AN: Don't expect boy love. There's very little chance of it being in here. And if you can't already tell, this takes place when they're a little younger. Enjoy and thanks for reading!

"...And then he says, hey, your nail polish SUCKS! Hic!"

Kisame watched in embarassment from across the bar as his partner went on about some stupid joke. He had begun to sink lower into his chair and under the table, thinking, _I don't know him, I don't know him, I DON'T KNOW HIM! _He did his best to cover his face and sink out of existence.

A night that Kisame was planning on enjoying by himself (and maybe a few girls for once) had quickly gone sour when his partner, Itachi Uchiha, arrived and started buying drinks for himself and the girls that Kisame had been talking to. He drunk in no time and now those two girls were wondering how such an attractive young man could turn out to be so obnoxious after a few drinks. The girls kept throwing glances at Kisame and mouthing things like "Help" or "knock him out already!"

"Hey--_hic_-- Kisame, check this out," Itachi called. He stood up on a bar stool and tried to balance a shot glass on his nose. Of course, the glass fell off immediately, but Itachi still got a kick out of it and emitted a sound that was somewhere between a cackle and hiccuping.

The two girls rushed over to Kisame's table, pulled out the chairs with great swiftness, and started chatting as if they had been doing so the entire night.

"So, Hoshigaki-san, wasn't it? Is your friend always like that?"

"...I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know that guy."

"Oh, come on," the other girl chimed in. "We saw you talking to him!"

"I was trying to get him to leave. He's not old enough to drink."

"So you DO know him!"

"Barely. I BARELY know him."

"Ah, well..." The older girl, a slim lady with smooth black hair and slanted blue eyes, sighed.

"I sort of like the... _exotic_ type, you know? Normal guys aren't good enough." She gazed at Kisame (which was quite a feat, since he was barely sticking up over the table now). Kisame recognized this as a pathetic attempt to turn the night around. Oh well, they missed their chance.

"No fair, Yume-nee! I like that kind too!"

"Well, we can _share,_ can't we?"

Yes, quite pathetic indeed.

Kisame stood up abrubtly and walked over to a now-unconscious Itachi. He picked him up with ease and slung him over his shoulder.

"Hey, where are you going?" the younger girl cried out.

"Home," Kisame answered flatly.

"Can we follow you?"

"No."

Kisame kicked the door open and went out into the night. He gasped, letting the chilly air fill his lungs. It began to remind him of the Mist Village, where he once dwelled. That was before breaking several laws and being recruited by Akatsuki. Now he lived in a small house in a small town by the sea, with his way-too-serious teenage partner who could barely hold his liquor.

While walking down the street, Kisame could have sworn he saw something move. He paused and looked around, though seeing nothing unordinary. If he had been awake, Itachi would been a lot of help right now. Kisame started walking again. Itachi, still knocked out, groaned softly.

Again, he saw something flicker to his side. Kisame put Itachi down to face whatever was stalking him. Soon-to-be emphasis on was.

"Come out, already," Kisame said. "I already found you."

"That soon?" someone called out from the shadows. "You're impressive, Hoshigaki-sama."

Kisame's eyes widened at the person who came forth. It was Yume, the girl from the bar, who said that she like the "exotic" type. Except, now she was wearing a flak jacket and a Mist Village forehead protector.

"That was unexpected," he said, "so you were a spy from the village?"

"No, not a spy," Yume answered. "I was returning from a mission when I saw you in the bar. My teammate and I decided to try out our special jutsu."

"Special jutsu?"

"Yeah. She's already done her part with your partner, now I need to do mine."

There was the sound of hand seals being made and chakra being molded. Kisame hastily picked up Itachi and started to get out of the way. Yume's hands let out a bright light that could have been blinding. A beam shot out from the light and hit Kisame squarely in the stomach, burning though his regular clothing. He dropped to the ground with Itachi behind him and glared at Yume. She was beginning to blur and fade away.

"See you, Hoshigaki-sama!"

Suddenly, everything went back to normal. Yume was gone. Kisame was standing up with Itachi over his shoulder. His clothes were undamaged and his eyes weren't burning from the intense light that had been there a moment.

Kisame shrugged. He figured he imagined it, or it could have been a genjutsu at most. His brain was already working on forgetting the incident as he headed home.

The next morning, something was different. He awoke to a different, more flowery and fragrant smell. He noted that it smelled like Itachi's room. Upon opening his eyes, he found that he _was_ in Itachi's room. How strange. He didn't remember falling asleep here.

Kisame sat up. He felt lighter and his head was pounding. The room looked bigger.

He noticed that the hair that fell in front of his face was darker than usual. That was definitely odd, since he usually kept his protecter on to keep his hair _out _of his face, and it was more blue, not black. Kisame looked down and saw that his skin had turned pale and peachier, not blue, and he was definitely slimmer.

_What the hell was going on?_

Kisame stood up and nearly fell over. His body felt to light to control and he had the headache, too. He felt like throwing up then, and rushed to the bathroom.

What he saw was much more surprising than anything he had ever seen.

There, staring back at him from the bathroom mirror, was the face of Itachi Uchiha.

AN: I left you all a cliffie! Don't forget to review if you want to see more!


End file.
